Friendships are among the most significant bonds you will form in college, and they can provide impeccable anchorage if you share similar interests and goals. However, sometimes there is the flip side where they can hinder your peace of mind. College comes with its own stress and anxieties; you do not need to add more stress from overbearing friends. Sometimes it may also be hard to let go of such toxic relationships, especially if you do not know how to call off the friendship. Let’s go through some ways you can deal with overbearing friends in college.
Understand Your Boundaries
We often forget to make our boundaries known at the onset of our friendships simply because we do not know how long the relationship will last. As your bond grows, ensure you let your buddies know your likes and dislikes. Once you feel pressured to do something, it should be a warning sign that your borders have been crossed. For example, if you do not like going out at night, you should not have to give several reasons; a simple no should suffice.
Creating boundaries will make the friendship last longer and promote respect. If your friends understand what you don’t like, they will respect that and put your comfort first. However, a friend who disregards your dislikes should not be your friend in the first place since you are not compatible.
Your friends need to know when they overstep boundaries. If you do not remind them, they might continue making you uncomfortable. As a student, avoiding any mental illness triggers is best, especially since you already have a lot to deal with. Therefore, you must let your buddies know when you feel offended by their actions. For instance, you can tell them they should not call you past midnight unless it is an urgent issue that needs your attention.
Putting up such boundaries does not make you mean. Instead, it means that you are looking out for yourself. Noteworthy, you should always pass your point politely without condescending. For instance, let them know what you don’t like and how they can work on that. Bottling up emotions can make you call off a great friendship due to a communication breakdown.
Don’t Feel Obligated to Meet Their Needs
You’ll be surprised that some of your friends don’t feel guilty when they say no to you. The first step to avoid getting guilt-tripped is understanding that you can’t always make your buddies happy. If you strive to do that, you will be overstretching and sacrificing your happiness and comfort in the process. Also, avoid thinking about the consequences of turning your friends down. Once you think of such, you will find yourself saying yes to everything you are requested to do.
Your friends also need to understand that you cannot always be available for them. Therefore, you can send the message that you are not available in a polite way. For example, a few unanswered calls after midnight is a polite way to show them that they should not call you then. Once you let them know you’re not always available, you will have ample time for self-care or to finish your assignments, and you may not need a paper writing service since you are not distracted.
Learn to Listen to Your Friends
It is essential to remember that your friendship should be two-sided, whereby both of you listen to each other. Listening to your buddies is crucial because they could be facing various challenges that cause them to project their anxiety and insecurities onto you. Therefore, if your friend has been acting pushy lately, initiate a conversation and listen to their side of the story before dismissing the friendship.
Expand Your Friendship Circle
Your friend may be pushy or continuously on your case since they have not formed any other bonds, and you may be the only person they can talk to. Thus, you can introduce them to new people to minimize your time with each other. Once they find other people to talk to, you will seize being their only escape.
A toxic relationship can be emotionally draining, and you may often feel like you’re not doing enough to make your friends happy. Therefore, you should stop and think if others put your happiness first. Additionally, defining boundaries is an excellent way to identify whether your friends respect and care about you. Sometimes speaking up can salvage your friendship since your buddies may be oblivious to things that make you uncomfortable and may be willing to change. If they respect your boundaries, then that is a friendship worth keeping.